I Missed Being Useful

After I retired, something felt off. I had time. I had energy. But I didn't have anywhere that needed me.

For 30 years, people relied on me. There were problems to solve, decisions to make, a reason to show up. Then suddenly there wasn't. I played some golf. Read some books. But I missed being useful.

A friend mentioned her croquet club needed help with their website. I'm no expert, but I know my way around a computer. I said yes.

I thought I'd fix a few things and be done. Instead, I found a place.

The club runs on volunteers. Someone organises the social calendar. Someone else keeps the lawns looking good. Another person welcomes new members and makes sure they don't feel lost on their first day. None of it is paid. All of it matters.

I started with the website. Then I helped set up for a tournament. Then I joined the committee. Now I'm there most weeks, not because I have to be, but because I want to be.

You don't need special skills. The most valuable thing anyone does is greet new people at the gate and make them feel welcome. That's it. A smile and a conversation.

Some helpers have professional backgrounds they put to use. Accountants help with the books. Someone who worked in events organises the Christmas lunch. But most of what keeps a club running is simpler than that. Setting up chairs. Making tea. Noticing when someone's been absent and giving them a call.

Here's what surprised me: helping made me friends faster than playing did.

When you work alongside someone on a project, you talk. You learn about their lives. You share a sense of achievement when something comes together. The friendships I've made through helping are deeper than the ones I made just turning up to play.

I feel useful again. That matters more than I expected.

If you've been retired a while and you miss having a place that needs you, you might find what I found. You don't need to play croquet. You don't need specific skills. You just need to be willing to show up.

Most clubs have something that could use an extra pair of hands.